I keep hoping you’ll change your mind

You’ll get paranoid. The voice will close in like it isnt closing in but it is closing in. Everything will repeat a special significant number of times. You’ll see threats where there are no threats. Everybody is insulting you because everybody hates you. You think you have reason but crazy says to sanity that sanity is insane. And it’s funny. All sanity can do is be offended. These are threats and these are insults. No they are not. There’s no proof. It’s all stuff. You’ll remember everything bad about yourself and wonder as if remembering a crossed to do why you’re still alive. You’re an orphan in your soul. In your body too but everyone starts out with parents. Everybody is born to somebody. To be orphaned you have to have an orphan soul. Orphanness is predestined. You’re going going to be orphaned again and again until you give up. Who ever it is pretending to love you today is going to abandon you. Not physically, but in the heart. They will look out the window when you cry. They will watch TV while you fret. Theyll drown you in mhms and whatevers and oks. No one will share anything with you. Orphanness is the sponge. Every drop of love will be sucked out. Every bang will sound like a bomb because you’re paranoid. You’re sure that this next plane is going to Hiroshima you to ashes. Or the next or the next. You are a corpse in progress. You’re sick. Stop pretending. Behind every grin is weeping. You’re nobody’s bride or mother or any of the good things. You could save time by dying. Saving time is a net benefit. It’s good it’s objective. Time can be measured. There’s proof.


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