Think about it like this. If you’re a woman think about the biggest practical problem in your life. If you’re not a woman think about the biggest problems women you know have. Maybe you have some kind of a mental issue you need help with, you’re a perfectionist. Or you’re pathologically passive and let people walk all over you. Maybe you’re a single mom and you’re having trouble watching/raising your kids and holding down a job to feed them. Maybe you’re in a dysfunctional relationship with a parent, a spouse, lover, friend. Is your boss an asshole to you or are they lazy and undirected? Maybe you’re fat and you always wanted to run fast but you can’t find a decent bra. You can’t find the time or courage to do things you want to. Your house is a mess. Every woman has problems like these. Some of our practical problems are just trying to avoid injustice and physical violence on a day to day basis. Some of our practical problems have to do with money and socioeconomic concerns. Some of them concern split ends and hangnails. They’re all valid problems.
Now think about how easily you can solve these problems. If you have a health problem like a physical disability or diabetes or chronic pain etc how easy is it for you to get to the doctor, convince the doctor you have an actual health issue, get medication, get physical therapy and whatever else you need to lead a somewhat normal life?
If you have a mental problem how easy is it for you to get talk therapy, CBT, DBT, access to prescribing psychiatrists that you need? How easy is it to get time off from work when you’re not well?
If you’re homeless how easy is it for you to get settled in a home?
If you’re a mom how easy is it for you to get trustworthy, kind appropriate childcare, time to rest, prenatal care, food for your children, decent schooling?
If you’re fat how easy it for you to get yourself anywhere without someone making a comment about your body, what you should eat and why you’re fat? How easy is it to find clothes and undergarments and chairs that fit you?
If you’re a child how easy is it for you to get help if your parents/guardians are abusing their power over you?
If you’re an adolescent how easy is it for you to get information and support about your concerns for the future, your sexuality/reproduction, your social life and anything else that is bothering you?
There are a million other questions like this because we all have different needs and there is a veritable rainbow of kinds of women. Really think about how easy it is to get these solutions to women’s problems.
After you’ve really truly and deeply thought about those things I want you to think about some different things you might get instead:
How easy is it for you to get porn?
How easy is it for you to get lipstick?
How easy is it for you to get a thong?
I’m not everyone and I’m pretending to be. But I can get those 3 things really easily for <$10. The first two I don’t even have to drive anywhere to get, I can get them from the gas station within walking distance from my house. If it’s easier for you to get the solutions to your most pressing problems than it is for you to get lipstick, God bless you.
If I give a homeless woman $5 she’s nowhere near getting safe housing. To get a house you need thousands of dollars, a steady job, references and good credit. You need time to fight with banks, realtors and owners. But she can take a bus to the Dollar General and buy a few thongs for empowerment/self-care/job-opportunity purposes. There is absolutely no barrier to entry for sexualization… every body is up for grabs.
So my question is why is it so easy for me, as a woman, to get porn and lipstick and so hard for me to get solutions to my actual problems? Why are the accoutrement of female sexualization so cheap and accessible, but help for a mom is so fucking complicated and expensive? Why is it okay for a woman to be unhealthy, sick, insomniac, suicidal, chain smoker as long as she’s thin (read:sexy!!!) but if she was all of those things and additionally fat (read:ugly) then suddenly it’s a national public health problem?
What if there was a place within walking distance from my house where I could get a running bra or birth control or therapy or nonviolent crisis assistance for <$10?
That would be a lot closer to freedom than my current sexualized “freedom.”
That’s all I’m saying.